It’s one day after Christmas
I’m crabby and I’m broke.
I’m so full of ham and fruitcake
I think I’m gonna croak.
It’s nice to see the relatives
I wonder when they’ll leave.
They’ve been camping in my bathroom
since early Christmas Eve.
They’re eating everything in sight
and sleeping in my bed.
I been sacked out in the basement
with my beagle, Fred.
The relatives have [...]

Oh, hush thee, little dear, my soul,
The evening shades are falling;
Hush thee, my dear, dost thou not hear
The voice of the Master calling?
Deep lies the snow upon the earth,
But all the sky is ringing
With joyous song, and all night long
The stars shall dance with singing.
Oh, hush thee, little dear, my soul,
And close thine eyes in [...]

I’ll be cloned for Christmas -
You can count the many me’s!
Please have plenty of food for my multiple brood -
And lotsa presents for the many me’s to appease!
Christmas Eve will find the many me’s -
Where the family screams!
I’ll be cloned for Christmas -
But only in multiplying extremes!
Holly Jolly Christmas
Funny Xmas Poems by Johnny Marks 1962
Have [...]

It’s the day before Christmas
And all through the house
The puppies are squeaking
An old rubber mouse.
The wreath which had merrily
Hung on the door
Is scattered in pieces
All over the floor.
The stockings that hung
In a neat little row
Now boast a hole in
Each one of the toes.
The tree was subjected
To bright-eyed whims,
And now, although splendid,
It’s missing some limbs.
I catch [...]

Christmas is great but Everyones insane
Going crazy with this stupid Christmas game
wrapping gifts and cooking food
and no one has time there not in the mood
giving gifts to one another
no one has time for me only my brother
no attention for me at all
I cant even go to the mall
It gets Christmas morning and what do I [...]

Every day is Christmas
When you have the kind of mind,
That stores up all the goodness
And the sweetness it can find.
When you don’t need an occassion,
To spread a bit of cheer,
But just keep on a-giving,
Of yourself throughout the year.
Every day is Christmas,
With a gaily wrapped surprise,
When you’ve learned
To see the friendship,
In someone else’s eyes.
When you try [...]

I’m walking backwards for Christmas,
Across the Irish Sea,
I’m walking backwards for Christmas,
It’s the only thing for me.
I’ve tried walking sideways,
And walking to the front,
But people just look at me,
And say it’s a publicity stunt.
I’m walking backwards for Christmas,
To prove that I love you.
An immigrant lad, loved an Irish colleen
From Dublin Galway Bay.
He longed for her [...]

Having faith in Santa Claus
Is not for just the young,
I know I’ll keep proclaiming him
As long as I’ve a tongue.
And even though I see the gent
Unmasked before my eyes,
Revealing some familiar friend
Who’s donned the quaint disguise,
It doesn’t change my mind a bit;
I’ll still believe, because
There’s more than whiskers and a suit
To dear old Santa Claus;
Bright [...]

The season is upon us now
A time for gifts and giving
And as the year draws to its close
I think about my living
The Christmas time when I was young,
The magic and the wonder,
But colors dull and candles dim,
And dark my standing under
O little Zachary, shining light
You’ve set my soul to dreaming
You’ve given back my joy in [...]

So crowded was the little town
On the first Christmas day,
Tired Mary Mother laid her down
To rest upon the hay.
(Ah, would my door might have been thrown
Wide open on her way!)
But when the Holy Babe was born
In the deep hush of night,
It seemed as if a Sabbath morn
Had come with sacred light.
Child Jesus made the place [...]