Why don’t they ever learn?
To stay put and stay alive,
when nasty things lurk,
It’s not a good idea,wont they realise?
Don’t go into the basement fool,
there’s a bad man down there.
stay in the house where it’s safe,
he could be anywhere?
ignore the spooky noises,
“no don’t”investigate,
hide under the bed you idiot,
before it’s too late.
call the police,be stealthful,
stay silent,in one [...]

Oh ,I wish I was your cat,
curled up cosy on your lap.
I’d stretch and contently purr…
lick my sleek,smooth ,silky fur.
Rub my face along your cheek,
relish every moment at your feet.
When It’s time to put me out for the night.
I wont go without a fight.
With cunning stealth I’ll slyly creep,
to lay beside you as you sleep.
I’ll [...]

Our dog must the strangest dog that ever lived?
But he keeps me amused,as well as the kids.
He must wiegh a hundred pounds or more?
and he still looks good in my knickers and bra.
Especially loves,lipstick,hats, fairy wings.
Enjoys dressing up in well?anything.
Seems proud ,struts about,really quite vain.
I have to chase him to undress him again!
“Leave that poor [...]

Sweetheart,I miss you,it’s seems so long,
Since you where here,here in my arms.
I miss you my darling,like a flower would rain?
I wish you would come home again.
I miss you like a fat kid would miss,cakes and pies.
Like a squirrel his nuts?a potato it’s eyes?
erm?….a driver his car,a captain his ship.
gin miss it’s tonic,a fish miss it’s [...]

Wolf was hungry,ravenous.
his belly rumbled made a fuss.
Cupboards empty,fridge was too,
What was poor old wolf to do?
not a crumb or morsel to be had,
even the mice had packed thier bags!
He scratched his head and picked his ear
And then he had this great idea!
Instead of brooding getting thinner
He’d invite someone for dinner.
rummaged to find his old [...]

I suppose it’s time for you to go?
I am going to miss you,you know.
I’ll forget and lay your plate,
keep your slippers by the grate.
Remember promise me this?
Our stolen moments,secret kiss?
Our bed will seem empty,cold with out you,
and now i’m crying,boo,hoo,hoo!
Yeah right,
i can’t wait untill you’re gone,
i’m sick of you ,we’re done!Done! Done!
Hurry up and get [...]

I have twin brothers Ping and Pong.
They haven’t been around for long
They look the same I get it wrong,
Wasn’t sure what to do?
So I asked mum if she knew,
which was which,and who was who?
she said she didn’t have a clue?
And to go and ask my dad.
dad was snoozing in the chair ,
Dreams of when he [...]

It’s snowing!it’s snowing!everywhere is white .
It must have snowed loads while I slept last night?
Quick!where are my wellies,my coat and my hat?
Oh,and my big scarf I can’t forget that.
Outside huge snowflakes are still floating down,
I try to catch them before they reach the ground.
stick out my tongue, one settles it’s cold.
It doesn’t taste of anything [...]

Why is it I can’t resist all the(bad for you food?)
and if you keep me from it,
it puts me in a mood.
I turn into a demon,stomp about,and slam the doors.
Diets they don’t really work I’ve tried and failed them all!
Jogging turns into a stroll,I don’t like it as such,
I end up hot and sweaty,and have [...]

You will have heard the story,about Red
Riding Hood?
You know where she visits Grandma,
Who lives in the dark woods.
Well that isn’t how it happened
Put that book back on the shelf,
I’ll tell you all about it she told me herself.
One day she had a phone call,
Granny was feeling rough.
So she packed a basket,put her cape on and [...]